And when it falls let it fall right here....

Vermillion is a beautiful thing...universal & one of the truest things I've read in every way. A two page dialogue back for my friend awaits but who knows if it will ever be read because of trips to & fro...the season ends early I suppose.

photo work used in the show

This is Ada Watching, which is a combination of one plain 8"x10" of Ada, an altered self-portrait (using clear acetate with paint & text on the transparency), and a double exposure of the same plain Ada image.
This is How much does Mommy Love you? which is based on a saying that I've said to Helena at bedtime since she was a baby. I ask "How much does Mommy love you? " and then answer "More than the sun, the moon, and the stars in the sky". The text in the center self-portrait is a handwritten version of that that Helena wrote to me in a letter. Also included are some of her drawings as the second image of the double exposure.

photo work not used

This is the plain version of the double exposure image that I posted earlier. I really love it even though it is not the text version (I put the text version in the show). Liam's face is so perfect, he has a serious, almost old quality that is so fitting for the images. I printed them with really strong contrast to add to the thoughtful quality. Josh felt the image wasn't super sharp but I used the widest aperture I could to ensure really shallow depth of field & focus on only the eye & face area. The text component of the double exposure image was super sharp...making it hopefully seem to overpower the image almost.
This is one of Ada that I actually ended up not using in the show. It just didn't work as well as some of the others because the bottom to the face totally disappeared.
This was the planned image of Helena with Chubby that I uploaded sketches for earlier. While I really like it, I ended up not putting this in either because Helena's image was just too blurred & had problems with dust spots.

Mother's Fear Triptych Ada

I wanted to upload one more of this image with some of the shading on the bodies & the softened edges for the "claw". I decided they were just too harsh & sharp. They work better for the piece with softer form and still appear foreboding and fierce. I've added much more color repetition in the claw form as well with more green in the top & reds in the ends.

Mother's Fear Triptych Ada

Well, I haven't upoaded about Ada from Mother's Fear in a long time & I wanted to get some of the new process stuff up. When we last saw Ada & me, Ada still didn't really have a face & my face was barely visible. The colors in the background were established but had very sharp piercing edges...
This is a close-up view of the image after I started adding more work to Ada's face. I'm adding a lot of warm tones to the flesh of both figures to make the bodies appear warm in comparison to the cold colors of the backgrounds claw shape.
More work on the hair & faces of both figures. This view is slightly distorted because it was propped up on the table. You can see the warmer red, coral colors in the bodies. I'm again dealing with the issue of not over-painting.
This image is a little too light but I'm putting it up so the background "claw-like" form is visible. I know I have to add a great deal more shading to the bodies but I hesitate to do too much as I really want the kids drawings to show. (The background for this one is made from copies of my kids drawings...clearly showing their innocence by their subjects. The claw is made up of newspaper text which relates my fears as a mother.)
This is a close-up of the faces for the piece. I decided to use this close-up as the image for my shows flier even though it isn't complete. I felt that as a process portfolio the image that was advertising the work didn't have to be finished... rather it should show the "gist" of the works. I love this section because of the text on the arm and breast area of the mother. Helena wrote it and it says "I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars in the sky" which is a "good night" saying I've been saying to her ever since she was an infant. She wrote it on her own, asking me how to spell each word, under one of her drawings for me. The dark area on the shoulder area of my arm is a drawing she made of our van with me driving and all of the kids in the back. Naturally, we are all smiling... as are the butterflies in Ada's face.

Relationship Triptych

Here is the latest version of Disconnect. It has gone from being my least favorite image to being probably my favorite. I'm still not done with the fabric but it is well on the way.

Relationship Triptych

To see images larger click on them...Well, I've been working on Disconnect a great deal & I've gotten a lot accomplished. First, I started with the figures (see previous entry) and made a stencil for placement. Next, I've attached the newspaper text for the bottom section and something new that I'm really excited about for the top. If you recall, I really wanted maps as a symbolic element to show the "wander lust" of the male figure or the desire to be in other places. I decided to keep the same composition but use the map to try and shape a figure almost in the window. The wall section is created with colored papers that I found that are just wonderful. Kelly suggested earlier to use teas to stain papers & Karen suggested doing kind of the same thing color wise that I did with Intensity and these papers have some of those qualities. The colors they have are exactly the palette that I wanted and the imagery of old stamps & vintage travel postcards were almost too good to be true. They really add to the meaning of the work. I've limited text to the top to just key words. The bottom "fabric" area is rich with text that all deals with the woman's clinging to ideas of what was the relationship or dreams (often prompted by stereotypical definitions of the ideal relationship). The text is tinged with bits of the stamp (aka wanderlust, wanting something else) paper but is dominated by her definition of what the relationship provides. Two of the major words are safety and baby (family) with fear being hinted at throughout. I have another image of the text but it is glared... I will upload it later.
The map-man...the male figure gazes at what he is missing or could be. In case you are curious, yes the places that made up the window are significant.
The color palette of the stamps with select text for the wall section near the male.
Here are some of the fabric as it is being painted. Again, trying to find the balance of paint & transparency is a challenge. I feel as if I'm overpainting in some areas already and I just got started.
Another close-up of the fabric folds near the clinching fist of the female. The folds get less "aggressive" near the legs and the values get lighter. This is to pull the eye back to the female. Does it work? You tell me...

Mother's Fear Triptych Helena

Well, I've been working like crazy! I have made several changes to the Helena piece. I struggled a great deal with her eyes as I wanted them to appear more real & less photographed. What actually ended up helping me was an art display that a colleague, Josh, put up at school. He did a large scale photo project where he had a photographer come in and photograph 10 different students' eyes up close. His project was also about identity... or that of the students. He had them write about their experiences at EHS & then had them have their oldest living relative talk about their high school experience. The works are really beautiful and because they are so large (over 2 foot big...just the eye section) they really have given me close up views of the eyes to examine. The resulting changes are from those investigations. A big thank you goes out to Josh for his project as it has really helped me solve some of the problems this one was causing me. I tried having Helena sit still so I could just stare at her eyes & that went over, well lets just say that it didn't!
This was the way it looked in the last update...the reflections in the eyes look too perfect.
This is a more updated version of the eyes. The development of the "bad man" shadow has been started. I decided to add in the reflected shadow of a figure in her eyes...I was inspired to do this by the reflection of the photographer in Josh's images. I call it the bad man because that is what Helena talks about sometimes in our talks about her fears. She is scared a "bad man" will come and get her & I think those fears of the shadowy figure are largely shaped by the media & by parental (my) fears. I think it works as a symbolic representation of my fears of what may be out there...the unknown assailant.
View of the full work with the added shoulder. I've added lots of reds & purples to tie it to the Liam image. These colors will be connected with the fears & text & will be used in all 3 works as such.
Close-up of the eyes with the shadow figure....

More colors have been added in the eyes and the highlights have been added in multiple locations.

Relationship Triptych

This is the latest version of Disconnect with the male figure added in... I'm trying to decide if the light is too strong on the right side of the man. This image is really special to me now because somehow I talked Bill into modeling for me. It is the first time in years that he agreed to let me use him in an image. It has so much more meaning for me when he is connected to it. I like the color work... the muted colors add to the somber quality and really help with the meaning. I have to spray it now & I am so scared because the Intensity piece changed dramatically when I sprayed it.

Here is the rough layout of the males back. I started with images that I took, drew them, and then enlarged them to the size I needed. For the earlier version of this image I drew lots of variations from life first but decided to use this method in the end.

Detail of the back.

Relationship Triptych

Detail close up of the face. As I mentioned, I've decided to go more with my likeness even thought the cycle is universal. The colors are not nearly as intense as with Intensity... I want the color more grayed out and muted to match the emotional state of the figures. The fabric and wall are in production...

Below is the thigh... I've tried to be honest with size of the figures because at this stage in relationships flaws are often exaggerated or seen by the partner for the first time whereas in the Intensity phase both near perfection in the others eyes.

Close up of the face & chest area.

The image below is the first version with some areas still just blocked in grays. Inspirational images of the kids are up in the left.



Well, I'm uploading the in progress drawing for the new Disconnect and so far I am happier with it. It isn't finished & today was a catastrophe for working. I got up at 4:30 & drew for 3 hours before the kids got up which is pretty normal but I decided to try and work during nap time & things went a little crazy. Helena doesn't nap anymore & so she was painting with me while I drew. That part of it was really nice...she is old enough to work for about half an hour without getting too distracted. We talked about her paintings (she worked on birds today) and she asked why my picture looked so sad. I told her that sometimes big people are sad & sometimes they can be really happy just like little kids. She accepted that answer and then told me that she didn't like the drawing of me because I didn't have brown hair and because I put green on it (at five she is very set in her opinions and incredibly honest... she told our neighbor today that their grass was too long & that they should cut it!!). Anyway, all was going well until she came over and put her hand on the head to ask about he color of the arm.... the entire area got smeared & I had to rework it. We had a long talk about not touching Mommy's art (which we had had several times throughout the day) and I tried to pull myself together. Later she said "Mommy why did you get so mad...it is just a drawing!" She puts it all in perspective.

General comments

Also wanted to address the composition for the Disconnect piece.....Mrs. Thompson feels as I do that the composition of the leaning male with the sheet in his hand is stronger because of the "Golden Triangle" / triangular composition. Others have suggested the straight back male which as I mentioned is more emotionally what I want the work to say...I'll be honest, I still haven't 100% made up my mind. This is the hardest decision I've made in the body of work up to this point. With the Ada image Karen T. & Kelly had great ideas.... work on the hands & work on the colors near the head (green for contrast) or fade blues & greens & let the sharp edge fade in some areas.

Relationship Triptych

The following is an email conversation I've been having with Dr. Kay Wagner (aka Captain Marvel...personal joke) about the work. She has some really excellent points about the composition for the Relationship Cycle Triptych piece Disconnect... I wish I'd shown her things earlier & I may have changed the entire body of work. My responses are in italics....

I responded strongly to your Relationship Triptych. I can’t tell you how much I admire your courage in putting your work “out there” for public criticism. I took your request for comment very seriously and wanted to send it directly to you, I would love to get your response to what I have written. Kay, thank you so much for responding! I take your comments very seriously as well. Asking for comments & putting myself out there so to speak is definitely out of my comfort zone as well. I’m not sure I would ever have done such a thing if I hadn’t been required to... it is scary. You put your soul into your work & I am generally very private about it.

The concept you have chosen is daring and difficult. It requires a depth of feeling and self-exposure that many will not have the guts for. Thank you. It is easier when you don’t show it to many people. Your work has an authentic emotional content and excellent feel for composition. This is a big compliment from you... I love your photographs. Your use of color is a very compelling element. Your forms are sculptural, soft in the first and hard in the second image. I love the cubist treatment of the newspaper in the last versions of the first image. I don’t think the drapery effect of the second image works; it seems distracting. I think the horizon line is a problem in the last image. I agree. The drapery is definitely going in the next version for just this reason as you can see on the new sketches.

Depictions of human sexuality, or nudes in general, have a major pitfall:

How do we avoid objectifying the human body, depicting each individual in his or her subjective reality, uniqueness and idiosyncrasy? Both classical nudes and modern pinups share this pitfall. The human beings they depicting are objects and as such don’t demand our respect. This is so true. I read a great deal about this during my research phase... often in an attempt to fight male portrayals of the female form as an object to be gazed at female artist are portraying themselves... studying who they are & what they are by completing figurative work of their own. Here the physical imperfection piece comes into play (as I showed with Disconnect... a real woman & man once the blinders were off after the Intensity phase.) I believe that in many ways you have avoided objectifying the figures in your Triptych, though a little less physical perfection might make this stronger. To complicate matters more often the more abstract a figure is the more it becomes objectified (see some of Picasso’s cubist nudes).

In the first panel the composition is strong and the colors are especially right in the second version of the first panel, darker shadows and more visceral. The woman’s eyes are disturbing in that they seem calm or almost bored This was in an attempt to make the image less crude... she is more motherly, consumed with him & not her own pleasure.; it maybe better not to see them at all.

In the second panel, I would love to see the figures in the same positions but with the woman in front with empty arms, the man in back. Some slight movement of one of the women legs or feet to make the image less overtly sexual. This would also serve to make all the panels vertical. I like the warm colors in the first, would like to see neutral colors dominate the second and a balance of warm, cool and neutral in the third.

It might be interesting to have the third image the same as the second , with subtle shift in the limb placement. Or how about have the male figure facing the viewer in a mirror image of his current position or with his arms in the same position as hers are in the first and second. The male face would probably need to be hidden. Oh Kay! I wished I’d gotten comments from you in the thumbnail, compositional stage! These are excellent ideas that I may use for future works. The repetition of the female figure is a splendid idea...

I like the newspaper collage background very much, especially when you tint it with the images dominant color. The text is so symbolic. It adds so much to what defines & shapes our definitions of how relationships are supposed to be... we want what we are told to want. Is our happiness based on societal definitions or our own?

I have found that visual images must be conceptually deep and visually complex before I am able to make substantial comments. Your work qualifies on both accounts. I can not thank you enough for taking the time to do this.

Relationship Triptych thumbnails, sketches,....

I've been having some really good dialogs (see comments under early version image of Disconnect) with several people about the Disconnect piece & I wanted to jot down my thoughts here so everyone could see them. Sandy mentioned that the maps & color showing in them should perhaps be brought throughout the entire piece & Kelly agreed that using different papers may be a good idea. She further stated that color added by staining from things like teas may give a neat effect. Color was also an area she commented on...repetition of background colors in the figures which I strongly agree with. I've decided to incorporate different types of papers along with text in the background as a color element. I found some great maps & papers with vintage stamps & postcards on them that I am going to play with this weekend along with working on the figures...hopefully new stuff will be ready for all to see Monday or Tuesday. I'm really excited about all of the suggestions...thanks so much everyone.

Mother's Fear Triptych Ada

Here are the stages of Ada & Mom at this point....




Obviously lots more to do...haven't even really started the baby's face yet. I really could use lots of input on color.... I wanted to use blues in the base background to help tie it to the Contentment piece from the Relationship Cycle but I'm not sure it is working. Lots of the drawings have been covered & it looks rather cloud like. The claw form is created with reds & greens to tie it to the other two works in the triptych. At first I hated it because I felt it looked like a huge palm tree behind her but with the addition of the purples & reds it is getting better. Should I vary the sizes of the points? Color?

Mother's Fear Triptych Ada

Here is the background completely attached...the claw form is different in value because of the newspaper. The kids images are xeroxes of the originals & thus all have cold white backgrounds. If you are curious, I did have the kids sign an artist release form stating that "Mommy can copy my drawings and use them in her artwork." They felt really important... start them early with copy right.

Mother's Fear Triptych Ada

I've been doing lots of work on the last piece for the Mother's Fear Triptych. With this one I wanted (as you may recall) the background to include images of Helena & Liam's drawings with the "harsh reality" text somehow attacking the figures of the mother & child. Josh suggested letting the text take on some form & I decided to go with a claw like appearance. Above are some close ups of the background before it is attached. I start by collecting text or images then I lay them out as I've done above to plan where I want them. Next, I attach them with gel medium & then enlarge the image on the background with gesso. This is followed by painting with the oils.

Relationship Triptych thumbnails, sketches,....

HELP!! I am back to working on Disconnect from the Relationship Cycle... as you may recall it was a bust (see bottom image of this post). The colors were terrible & I was really unhappy with it. Well, I'm at the point where I need input on the image. I've redrawn the female figure & am happier with her at this point. I intentionally used myself as a model this time....even though I feel the woman's role in the work is universal, since the portfolio deals with my identity I want the work tied more to me. I've also played with the light. I want more darkness on the figures so that the beckoning light from the background is more prominent. I need real help with selecting the male for the new image. The first rough sketch shows the two male options and below are slightly more refined drawings of the female figure with the male in place.


This first sketch below has the male getting up & I really like the dynamics of the composition that it creates. The diagonals & additional focal point of the hand & fabric add to the image (I think) but the actual pose is changing the meaning of the work for me too much. Here the male is physically leaving... getting out of the union (bed, marriage, etc.) which is too strong of a break. For me, the meaning behind Disconnect is more emotional detachment and thus a part of a cycle that repeats in the relationship. If the male is physically leaving then the cycle is broken...


The image below is closer to my meaning & is much closer to the original composition but I don't think it is as dynamic because it lacks diagonals & the additional focal point to strengthen the composition. What I do like about it is that both figure are lost in their own thoughts, it is quiet & still. There will be some space above his head & the rectangular "window" will be on the right. Sorry for the mess with the tracing paper taped to the other drawing! What do you guys think? Which is stronger?

Below is the ugly original! Pink, what was I thinking?!

Photo Work Thumbnails

As I mentioned previously with the sample double exposure image of Liam, I am going to be doing some photo work using that process. Since the other bodies of work for this portfolio have been in triptych format I am intending to do the same thing with these. The rough sketches show I want to incorporate color as well. I want to do this for symbolic reasons. As I mentioned in a previous post (or was that my paper?), I feel that the media in this country has a great impact on what we fear. For example, issues or incidents that cause maternal fear (sexual abuse of a child, abduction, child abuse, etc.) are often top stories in the media due to our appetite for those types of stories. It is a catch 22; they tell the stories because they hold our attention & we are attentive to these stories because of our fears from constantly hearing these stories.



This was the first set of thumbnails for the photo double exposure work. As you can see, this was before I decided to include me in the white section.



This is too dark but you can see that now I have added myself in to the central image which is, I think, more in keeping with my theme.




For the photo triptychs I want to have 3 images...the red & blue image will be the same image toned either blue or red with Berg toner while the white image will be of me with the child being focused on in that triptych (I have plans for 3, one triptych for each child). Here you can see that the mother in the central work is smiling. This is because I have decided to use the white piece to again show childhood innocence and non-corruption by having Helena & Liam's drawings as the background text component. The red & blue pieces will both have the fear inducing text from newspapers.

Mother's Fear Triptych- Liam

Here is what Liam looks like currently... not done but a far cry from where he was. I have also started the assembly of the background for the Ada & me image which I will try & upload tonight...Ada is sick & not really letting me get a great deal done during "nap time" today.

Mother's Fear Triptych- Liam

After working on the clothes & background & some flesh work put Liam away for a day & when I returned I realized just how terrible the face was... proportions were off (look how large the eyes are in the last post as opposed to the newer ones seen here). I'm still far from finished but I need to work on another image for a few days so when I come back to this it will be fresh & I will be able to see the problems more quickly...not only that it needs to dry.

Mother's Fear Triptych- Liam

Well, it has been a really busy week. I have worked almost exclusively on Liam and have had lots of difficulties largely due to the process itself. I am painting with oils over a newspaper base that has been sealed with about 15 layers of gel medium. The oil flows beautifully but to get the initial image on the boards (masonite boards sanded... I like a really hard work surface) I had to "sketch" out the image with gesso to be able to see it on the newspaper & because of the translucent nature of the oils the white lines of the gesso were showing too much in some areas. As a consequence of that I have had to go darker with the oils in some areas than I wanted to & now I'm concerned that I may have over painted in some areas. There are areas where the text is not showing the way I wanted...more solid areas than I initially planned. I am starting to like it in some areas. The first image is a repost of kind of where I was & then I have attached images where I worked the clothes & then the background.

Photo Work

I've decided that I want to incorporate some photography into my portfolio for some of the pieces. This started out as an experiment... this is Liam (a darkroom created double exposure) with text & I really like the potential it has. In some ways it is what I wanted to do with the Mother's Fear pieces... let the reality of the text be sharp & the figures of innocence faded and translucent. This is accomplished here with the sharp focus of the text as opposed to the soft focus & shallow depth of field for the child. Naturally, the color addition to the paintings make them something completely different. This seems to be another evolution for the work, a shift in direction but still strongly connected to the other two triptychs.

General comments

New comments from Lynn....

"This is an exciting concept Dalen! It is inviting us
into a critical dialogue on your work during the process,
which is a different role for an artist but I hope a
valuable experience.  I think  keeping a journal of your
personal responses to the influences our voices have on
the work would be an important tool.

I like watching the development. As an artist I would
find it motivating to keep the work going, it becomes
more "performance' than visual art usually is.  The
children's drawings are very lively ,though quiet in
tone.  The eyes are so important in the set up of your
composition that I would suggest using your own eyes
or your child's as a model as you paint so they have
the many facets of light and irregularity of the lens
surface and reflections that are refracted there.

I look forward to talking with your further about them!"

Lynn

Mother's Fear Triptych Helena

Again, more images (now with background colors started) of Helena. The "adult" text is clearly visible throughout the image (remember the text is symbolic... tied to fear causing agents for mother). The colors are shifting but so far I'm pleased. You can see little Liam in the background (along with toys all over the table!). Keeping the kids from trying to paint with my stuff is getting harder & harder. The positive is they really want to paint now but unfortunately they don't understand that my paints are off limits. Without a studio to lock the door to my stuff is always kind of at risk. If it isn't the kids it is the cat (I caught her on the Intensity painting last night & nearly killed her!). Regardless of what Magritte thought about painting in his dining room, I think I need a better option!

Mother's Fear Triptych Helena

I am working on Helena full force right now. I have been trying to make a point to take more process images of her. The most difficult thing with this type of Process Portfolio is "showing all the steps" so to speak. I am so used to just doing the work. The really positive thing has been all of the tremendously helpful comments & I know you can't have one without the other. The images show the progression of the color & I have zoomed in on some so that the actual appearance of the text can still be seen (which is equally important as I have mentioned).

Mother's Fear Triptych- Liam

I have started planning the color palette for the Mother's Fear work. I am planing on working with burgundy & a deep forest green as the dominate pair in the works. I'm also intend to pull in some of the blues from Contentment into the 3rd piece of the Mothers Fear image (as the family, safe color which will be over some of the kids drawings near the base). Here is the background started for Liam. Pardon the mess all over the dining room table!

General comments

Thanks Scotty! The anatomy comments were helpful as were the color/ brush stroke comments. In response to the issue of having the figures in Disconnect attached.... I struggled with this when I was planning the image. I agree that having them apart would be a stronger visual "disconnect" but in the end I opted not to for several reasons. In long term relationships, especially where children are involved (such as mine), there will always be a lingering connection. Once bound for so long she (me) will always have some connection to this person...even if she doesn't necessarily always want to... Moreover, this is about a relationship that hasn't completely broken out of the cycle. It is a fragile thing teetering on the edge but it pulls back into one of the other stages of the cycle. Does that make sense?

In response to your question as to whether the male is a prop since this is about my identity...I would have to say yes in the same way that children are. It is my opinion that the characters in ones life shape who we are...if the players were different, if my roles were different, I would be different & not who I am now. The male is incredibly important. Having said that, I want this to be universal & something that most people (especially women) can relate to. That is one reason the male is not the same person in each image. That was a happy accident. Bill refuses to model anymore or help with the work (too many years of pestering him to do so I guess!) so I had to use whomever was available & old figure drawings as sources. It can be difficult for a married old women to get men to take off their clothes I guess.

General comments

hi dalen,

spent some time looking at your work. it looks
really good. i have a couple of comments. in
general,  i like the relationship work better
than the mother's fear (possibly b/c what's going
on with me right now, also probably b/c mother
child relationships are different than father
child relationships). overall, i like the
use of text in the work. i read josh's comments
on maybe altering the text somehow. that might be
interesting.
i like the ramping up of color in the background
of intensity piece. i think i'd like to see
stronger marks here: more expressive, rawer, more
passionate,primal. take another look at the guy's
right scapula. the anatomy looks a little funny
in that area to me. contentment is good as is.
color selection is perfect. only comment is with
regards to background. maybe give more emphasis
to horizontal folding, just to calm the bg down.

to me the disconnect would be a little stronger
if the figures didn't connect at all. i know
they're facing away from one another but the
figures are still in contact.
the relationship pieces all seem cohesive and
belong together. a question tho, since this is
about identity and specifically your identity
in your relationship,is the male just a prop?

later on,
scotty

from email comments July 10, 2007

General comments

Mrs. Thompson has spoken...
"Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, but
I've been out of town twice recently. I like
your thesis concept of giving visual form to
the various stages of a woman's intimate
relationships. The Intensity painting blows
me away! It has become so much stronger with
the addition of warm tones on text surface.
The piece holds together more as a total unit
rather than split environmental space and focal
point. The forms are sensually (and sensuously)
handled. The drawings of you and Ada remind me
of Leonardo's Madonna sketches -maybe it's the
expressiveness of the hands. The claw is a good
juxtaposition, and one used by Max Beckmann
in a menacing manner. Do the same for
Disconnect that you have for Intensity. The
environmental space is too separate & fighting.
Look at the breakage of spacial shapes. If the
map needs to remain, could it be incorporated
in a more symbolic manner,ie: simulated roads/
highways within the movement of folds in the
sheets? I don't respond as much to the Liam
piece b/c of the foreshortening and usage of
space. I DO,however, love the innocent little
hands under the chin. And I do like the concept
of "innocence fading".Your draftsmanship has
so much feeling, and with areal beauty of form
( as you've always displayed). I'm exceptionally
proud of the woman you've become, with a
real visual voice in your work. Keep me posted!
Love,
Karen" 

Mother's Fear Triptych

Here is the Helena drawing for the Mother's Fear Triptych. Her face will fill up more of the composition than Liam's did. I've decided to go with an image of Helena when she was younger because I love the puzzled innocence on her face in the image which really fits the piece. The lines in the background are to designate the text (see the Helena background post to see it).

Mother's Fear Triptych sketches

A darker version of the Mother & baby....

Mother's Fear Triptych sketches

Here is the version of Mother with Ada that I decided to use... the Mother is more protective with arms cradling the head and shielding the baby from all of the harshness of the outside world. In the sketch I am trying to use some suggestions in terms of shaping the text more (here somewhat like a claw of newspaper negative text on top of safety images...drawings done by Helena & Liam as a base background). I am still open to more comments on this one.

Mother's Fear Triptych sketches

Here is a rough sketch the Mother & Ada piece of the Mother's Fear triptych. I decided not to use this one because the mother figure looks too passive....not protective enough. What was nice was the pulling away of the baby...turning away from the mother and towards the outside world. The not protective enough body position of the mother is kind of how I feel right now...I was busy doing this & Ada figured out how to open the basement sliding door. She fell down the first four steps to the first landing. She appears to be okay but I was so scared...my heart just dropped. Liam never figured that out. She can already open the gate to go upstairs, walks, & crawls up the stairs...all b/f 11mos.

Mother's Fear Triptych

Here are the compositional studies for Mother's Fear. At this point I still had concerns over how to arrange the central figures. I did more studies ....

Relationship Triptych

Lots to update. I've worked a great deal on Intensity using the comments that were suggested by several and my own ideas of what should be done to alter the piece. It is still wet but I've gotten some images of it to upload. There are two versions b/c of glare....I am re-uploading the first version directly under them for quick reference. As I mentioned before I decided to go with more reds & warm tones. I've also hinted at separate planes (wall & floor w/o being too obvious I hope). The text is much more subdued but still visible. To answer one question... the hands were kept relaxed & the eyes were kept open for the same reason... to keep the piece from looking too crude if you will. Dana mentioned in our last conversation that the female figure almost looks like she is mothering the man. That is more in keeping with my intended meaning which the text alludes to...happiness, perfect, harmony, together. To keep it from being "porn" I put the female behind the male (she is completely covered) and psychologically it makes him appear as more important. This is what women often do in relationships... it is all about him, all for him with almost a loss of self. This is from a females point of view so... my friends who roll their eyes & sigh at this make me a work from the male view!

Relationship Triptych

I just posted comments on some of the work from Josh. My initial reaction to the "something dogs pee on" was a hurt feeling kind of thing but as I've thought about it for a day now I see where he is coming from. The text is flat in the Intensity piece (b/c I wanted the figures to dominate & fill the space)... compositionally, I need to alter that flat text & create some type of value transition so that the figures are resting on a plane or surface rather than having flat text behind them. Create a ground if you will. I am considering what to do with the color in several of these.... because the intensity piece is supposed to be more vibrant (not calm like the blues in Contentment) I going to pull out more warm tones (in the drawing there are multiple reds, warm purple variations, oranges) & create a ground plane. I discussed this with Dana by phone & she could see the flatness of the background (she also agreed that not overworking the background was important... I don't want to take away from the figure's dominance). She felt the reds & rusty reds would work & I trust her judgment!

The positive feedback from all was really appreciated...Thanks Josh & Dana. Dana is such an inspiration & her works are so beautiful (she does 2D stuff)...to hear positives on my stuff from her is a real complement. Josh, thanks for the comments on Contentment... it is a pastel drawing however so brush stroke doesn't apply (I get your drift though). As hard as it is to let other people look at my stuff it is good for me....we hear the negatives more loudly which is also good for me to remember as a teacher. Kids put their heart into their work & I have to always keep that in mind.

General comments

I will look at your work more in a bit. My first thought on the one where you and the man are having relations is that it looks like you are doing it on newspaper which I associate with something dogs pee on and that gives the thing kind of a gross feeling for me. that is just an initial gut response.

the one with the slender long haired good looking guy is really well painted. you are very skilled with a brush.

One other initial thought. have you considered trying to push yourself into some unfamiliar/uncomfortable terrain in terms of the way you apply the paint? either watering it down or putting it on thicker. maybe putting a brush in your hand of a size or shape you are not used to.I think if you get yourself out of your comfort zone in terms of technique you may find some interesting things you wouldn't have thought of.

Also, where do you get your text? is it always newspapers? have you considered finding other sources or different approaches to putting words on there. Maybe you could scan your sketches into the computer and then put words on them in some way print them out,experiment with fonts or handwriting them or having the words take on different shapes or try to express something in their look not just their meaning, i don't know, just random thoughts. we saw some very beautiful calligraphy in the art museum in Shanghai, very expressive.

.....email communication comments from Josh Grenier

Mother's Fear Triptych

I've been getting some questions about the planned arrangement for the Mother's Fear Triptych so I wanted to comment on how they may be placed. I'm obviously open to suggestions. I was thinking that Liam & Helena will be the same size the central image will actually be of Ada & me (not just Ada as some have asked). I will be clutching her tightly with our faces touching or very close together. I am still working on the composition of the image... i am in the process of sketching out variations of either standing or seated positions. I'll be taking resource images tomorrow. I have a former student coming to help entertain the kids & possibly help with lights. It may be awkward showing her some of my personal sketches but I know I will need the help. I've been trying alone & it isn't working.

Relationship Triptych

I've had lots of really great comments about Disconnect. I'll be using those to rework that one on Weds. I had a good phone conversation with Scotty today & he made some interesting points about the order that I should display the three. He thinks they should start with Intensity, then Contentment, and then Disconnect as that is the way he thinks the cycle runs. I suppose the only issue is that I view the Contentment piece as being a positive.... a middle ground that is the best overall part of the cycle. I didn't intend it to read as boredom. He had some great comments about how the contentment (being passive, too comfortable) in relationships actually can lead to a disconnect. Lots to think about. I definitely still want a triangular wall arrangement.

Mother's Fear Triptych Helena background

Incomplete text background for Helena...

Mother's Fear Triptych- Liam

Liam in its current state...

Mother's Fear Triptych- Liam sketches

The following are the sketches progress images for Liam. The text is visible. The Helena images are forthcoming (she is really complaining that I haven't painted her yet! She has asked like 20 times when I was going to paint her. She told me the last time "Mommy, what if I start to get jealous that you only paint Liam?").

Mother's Fear Triptych sketches

These are hard to make out but you can see the compositional adjustments that Josh suggested at the bottom (that is his sketch on the envelope).

Mother's Fear Triptych

With this set of 3, I wanted to deal with motherhood & the mother-child theme in a slightly different way. I wanted to deal with the abstract concept of "fear" particularly the type of maternal fear that I never knew existed until I had Helena (my first little one). This fear can be so powerful that it immobilizes you if you don't contain it or let it exit in a way such as with this artwork. With these I want the text to stay visible so that it becomes /serves as "the reality" of our culture & the innocence of the kids become ghost like or faded. I'm using torn edge text from newspapers (the actual voice of our culture) & water based oil paints (safety a concern around those who eat paint! :)) Mass media (here newspapers because they provide an even painting surface) is important because it shapes, influences, and often perpetuates the fears that are in some ways natural. I've already talked to Josh Grenier about these & he had some excellent comments about composition & questions for me about what I wanted the work to "feel like". In the following sketches you can see I was having things very centralized for all three.... Josh suggested having the Liam & Helena pieces leaning more towards the center. He also suggested incorporating hands or arms cradling the three pieces.

Contentment

Contentment is the piece I like the most at this point. The colors in the painted fabric work well & don't mask too much of the text (in "real life" looking at the work). This one was the only one I drew using a photograph (one that I took years ago of myself w/ a friend) and it did make the work easier than working from memory and sketches of models.

Disconnect

This is the most up to date version of Disconnect and it is the most incomplete of the entire Triptych in my mind. The color palette is terrible & I feel like the fabric is too flat... maybe I should redo the entire background. The map, or some map, I do want to include for symbolic purposes. This one needs tons of work.

Disconnect sketches.

These images are sketches, thumbnails, & mock-ups for Disconnect.

Intensity

This is the most complete version of Intensity. The figures are drawn in chalk pastel and the are attached to the text background (another ode to Jenny Holzer.... text to me is so strong as a symbolic component) which are stained/ painted with oils. The words help give meaning to the frenzy or all consuming "insanity" of emotion present at the conception of a new relationship or during the "peaks" of a longstanding relationship.

Relationship Triptych thumbnails, sketches,....

Relationship Triptych

This first set of in progress 3 pieces is about the cyclic nature of sexual/ intimate relationships with a longstanding partner (such as in a marriage). The first images are of the thumbnails, sketches, & mock-ups that I did for the pieces. The last 3 images are the images as they are in their current states. When I was constructing the images I thought of them as going in no particular order... they are the highs & lows of intimacy & feelings of connectedness to a partner which is in my mind fluctuating & cyclic. I am displaying them here in the order that they were created... Intensity being first, Disconnect second, and Contentment third.

mask view #2

A second view of the Identity mask....

Identity Mask

This is the piece that actually started my entire interest in the concept of "Women's Roles and Self-Identity" as my theme. It was an assignment given in my Creativity class instructed by Lynn Jermal. She had us create self-portrait masks & told us to use whatever materials we desired to complete the piece. I really got into the assignment and it made me think a great deal as I was creating it.... what am I all about. Who am I anyway & what is my real purpose? Once I started the text background (with words that at that time had significance to me), I just let whatever happen happen & the result was this mask. The symbolic components are clearly visible.... the vale for feminine traits & marriage, the "nuk" or pacifier for motherhood & for my connection to my own girlhood, the spiral for continuation of life & reproduction, foil/ reflective eyes & dark hands... shadows in my past that never really leave.